Bad Blogger

Naughty Naughty Naughty!

OK, I haven't posted in a really long time...sorry. I don't have much of a viewing public right now, so I don't feel too terribly bad. Last week was my last week at my old job and it was totally stressful. My boss is being a totally immature, unprofessional chode and making my work-life a very un-fun thing. I mean, it's hard enough leaving a bunch of people who you're finally comfortable hanging out with and have a really fun time with. I know the truth, people say they'll keep in touch, but it's a lot harder than that and I know I will probably only hear from and keep in touch with 10% of the people I'm friends with at work. But that's life, that's what happens when you move on to new things.

So Monday is my last day and we're having a nice Monday margarita lunch and I will actually partake in the margarita consumption...I'm pretty excited about that. It may mean I have to take BART to work tomorrow...but I still haven't decided if that's what's going to happen or if I'll just stay at work long enough to sober up. I mean, theoretically, I'll still have work to do right? Oh no, that's not right, my boss is "punishing" me because I'm quitting (I know, mature right?), but the punishment is him taking my documents away from me and tomorrow, that'll be a good thing, as I will have had tequila at lunch and need to pack up my cubicle. Punk ass...good riddance to him and all the grief he has caused me; after all, he is the reason I'm leaving this fantastic company...SO LONG SUCKA!

So my new job is going to be exciting...I hope. But I'm actually terrified they think I'm way smarter than I am. I mean, seriously, I just have a B.S. and I haven't used any of the skills I learned in school since I graduated over a year ago? Do I really know how to do biostats anymore? Do I actually know how to use MS Access and Oracle DBA studios as well as they think I do? Do I remember anything about ecological principles and theories? DO I KNOW ANYTHING?!?!?!?!?!?!?

As you can see, I'm a bit nervous right now and need all the support I can get. Here I go, jumping with two feet into a brand new career that actually utilizes my college education...it may not be as financially lucrative as my last job, but (hopefully) it will be more intellectually stimulating and I will (hopefully) be a happier person.

I DON'T THINK SO!

State Farm Insurance, you think you can up my insurance premium to $1600/year just because I live in a bad neighborhood? I don't THINK so! Hello...AAA Insurance? Yes, I DO have a perfect driving record... $1100/year, better coverage and lower deductible? DON'T MIND IF I DO!

F-U STATE FARM! You've taken financial advantage of me for more than 8 years and now I must bid you farewell. Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!

RIP Iguanas

Wow...I'm so depressed.

Tonight, on the way home from work, I was STARVING and thought, tonight is definitely an Iguana's kind of nite. I pull up to a parking spot right in front of it and was patting myself on the back about the killer spot. Then, I look into Iguanas big windows and GASP, there's blue tarps covering the windows and the Iguana's Taqeria sign...no where in sight. I'm thinking, they must just be remodeling, or trying to block the San Jose heat, right? So I get out of my car and go up to the door. Taped to the glass door is a letter in legalese...something about ownership of the property not being turned over when it was supposed to/breach of contract...not sure what any of it means except Iguanas is no longer there.

Now that I live only 10 minutes away, my FAVORITE taqueria in the bay area is gone...I'm not sure if/when it will ever come back. I just don't know what to do with myself. I know all good things eventually have to end...but nacho fries? That should NEVER end...ever. Charlie, back me up on the yumminess of Iguanas so everyone can understand what a TRAGEDY it would be if it were to never come back.

On a less selfish note, I'm kinda worried about the people who worked there. Working at a taqueria (no matter how popular it is) doesn't make you rich...what happened to them? Did they lose their jobs? Do they get compensated for this lost work? Did they have to abandon Iguanas and move on to other taquerias? I'm not sure of the answers to these questions, but I hope all of them are doing ok.

I'm keeping up the hope that Iguanas is merely on a hiatus and will be back soon...I need my nacho fries and carnitas dammit!

Big Air

THE GREAT OUTDOOR GAMES!

Wow...I thought the Summer Olympics were my most favorite sporting event ever. I mean, there's swimming, diving, gymnastics, waterpolo, two kinds of volleyball, and much much more! For crying out loud, my ringtone on my cell is the olympic fanfare, I mean, I REALLY love the summer olympics.

But now...The Great Outdoor Games may have stolen my heart. Please...if you see it televised anywhere, you MUST watch. Not ONLY does it include Lumber Jacking sports (which are ALWAYS entertaining), but there's dog sports, and let me tell you, those are the BEST.

My personal favorite was called,"Big Air". Big Air, as Matt puts it, is the "Long Jump for Dogs". In Big Air, the "handlers" get the dogs (the most competitive breed, Labrador Retrievers) all riled up and hyper and just ACHING to have their toy clamped between their jaws. Then, they have to sit, lay down (optional) and stay at one end of the dock (which can be quite a challenge for them) and wait for the handler to release them. While waiting to be released, you can just see the focus in the pups' eyes as they're salvating for that toy. Once released, the dogs run (at around 25 mph according to one of the announcers) towards the other end of the dock. The handler then throws the toy (a perfect angle toss is approximately 45 degrees) just before the dog reaches the end of the dock. The dog then LAUNCHES himself (with, get this, the "Two Paw Push") off the dock in hot pursuit of that evasive toy. There's a ruler that runs alongside the pool (like the dog gives a CRAP about how far he's jumped!) and, probably because it's broadcast by ESPN, they put the infamous yellow "1st Down" line at the distance the dog's jump must clear to make it into the next round. The jump's distance is measured where the dog's hindquarters hit the water.

The timing of "the toss" is ABSOLUTELY critical. If the handler doesn't time his throw PERFECTLY, a couple of things can go wrong to spoil the distance of the jump. If the throw is late, the dog's velocity carries him ahead of the toy, causing the dog to look back and lose valuable distance. Apparently though, the real catastrophe is when the dog catches the toy mid-air. You see, when the dog catches the toy, he loses all motivation to jump any further and the distance is crap.

The announcers are a vital part to the humor of this event saying things like,"Oh, look at his GREAT extension, he really wants to make that jump count." Please, the only thing the dog wants is that damn toy! They also talk about the "Two Paw Push." Apparently, this is how you get the MAX Big Air. You see, if the dog measures his strides perfectly, he gets his "Two Paw Push" (where his hind legs thrust him into the air) right at the end of the dock for maximum distance. There's also something hillarious about the serious announcers just saying the word "paw," I don't know why, it just is.

Before yesterday, I had never heard of this Big Air sport and let me tell you, I could NOT stop laughing. There's something about the seriousness of the announcers and handlers, the salvating of the dogs, the dog crawling (where the dog is laying down and creeps forward across the dock)because they just so badly want that toy, the tails spinning behind the dogs as if it were a propeller to help them jump further, and the ears flapping like bat wings as the dogs are jumping that just cracks me up. Poor Matt, I probably annoyed the crap out of him...but I couldn't help it, it was FUNNY.

I give "Big Air" four extatic paws up.

Yup, HE wants to be a princess...no no, he's straight.

OK, I promised I'd post it, and this quote was one of the motivations for creating a blog. Sometimes you just HAVE to share hilarious stories with strangers, and this is one.

Picture if you will me (a tiny little girl), and my two big, strong, burly, Latino roommates sitting downstairs watching the West Wing. I get bored and suggest watching a movie, perhaps Princess Diaries. Jason (bigger and burlier of the two) says,"Oh man, I love that movie!" to Mike's and my astonishment. So I go along with it and we convince Mike to watch the movie with us (much to my excitement because I LOVE Julie Andrews and princesses).

I will now attempt to write the rest of this like a script, ahem:

[Sam, Mike and Jason watching the movie]
Sam: I wanna be a princess! Seriously, who wouldn't want to be a princess?
Jason: I know...I want to be a princess!
[Mike and Sam slowly turn and look confused as they look at Jason who is DEAD serious]

OK...I have to interject some more background stuff, if you've seen the movie, you know the "Catch a falling star and put it in my pocket" song. Apparently...so does Jason, yup, that's right, sang right along with it BOTH times it was played in the movie! Cracked us up! Ahem...back to the script:

[Sam, Mike and Jason resume watching movie after Jason sang along. Sam and Mike still chuckling to themselves about the singing]
[Sam and Jason start chit chatting about the movie and Mike tries to break up the chit chat]
Sam: Hey, let us girls talk!
Jason [to Mike]: I think she means her and me.
Mike: Well you did say you wanted to be a princess.
Jason: I do want to be a princess...I want a tiara and EVERYTHING!

Don't believe me? No seriously, it happened. And Mike and I couldn't stop laughing. Then, once the movie ended, Jason and I wanted to go run to Blockbuster and rent the 2nd one...that's right, he likes that one too.

Welcome to My World

Hi everyone out there, I've been feeling left out of the blogging community so this is my feeble attempt to join my friends out there in bloggerworld and share bits of my life with you all.

I just recently moved to a new house in San Jose with new roommates and will soon be starting a new job. I figured this was a good outlet to help this control freak who hates change stay somewhat sane during all this. We'll see how it all works out.

Wow...what a lame first post, don't worry though, I have a hillarious conversation to post about one of my new roommates who wishes HE was a princess...stay tuned!